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This is it: the new book I’m recommending about death to anyone who asks.
I get asked about good resources for learning about end of life, talking to kids about death, and how to navigate taking care of someone who is grieving a lot. Like a lot. And oftentimes, I definitely have a good recommendation for many situations, but I was really lacking an all-in-one introduction guide to point people to to just know how to talk about death. I don’t always have the answers, but I’m happy to go looking for them, so I found this book.
So if you’re hesitant to learn and think about death but think that you probably should at some point, may I recommend Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner)? It’s self-help that is actually practical and actionable without being angsty and mean and has swears in the title (which is why I am always hesitant about “self-help” books). And it doesn’t stop with the information in the book, Death Over Dinner provides resources for helping you navigate your own specific needs and additional learning for once you finish the book (over even for before you read it!). It’s truly a fantastic resource.
Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner)
by Michael Hebb
🌟: 5 / 5
📚: Practical advice about how to discuss death (and life!), both over dinner and anywhere else in the world.
💭: Filled with conversation starters, prompts, and stories about people who have contributed to their own Death Dinners in the past, Hebb compiles the ultimate guidebook to having a hard but important conversation with both strangers and loved ones with grace and ease. While it provides guidance, Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner) is never a preachy self-help book— instead it guides you through learning and self reflection and gives advice on how to bring this conversation to others.
This book is also one of the only guides that I’ve read about death that is fairly religiously diverse. While most books about death can be pretty clearly divided into religious or secular views, Hebb’s guide gives practical advice about how to approach both sides of this divide (based on how your dinner crowd leans) and how to consider your own views about death. Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner) is also one of the only books that I’ve read recently that even includes religious practices outside of the Judeo-Christian norms that are most commonly seen in the US by interviewing Death Dinner guests who are practicing Muslims, a voice rarely heard from in popular death-positive literature, alongside other religious practitioners.
Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner) addresses and spans different age groups and races, and touches on how conversation should be uniquely tailored to various groups that may come to the table to talk about death. This book is merely a starting point and inspirational guidebook that anyone can read, but serves as a great introduction to the work that Death Over Dinner (and the EOL Roundglass family of initiatives) does as a whole.
Along with this book, there are more specific editions that build on Hebb’s body of work, including specific conversations for medical professionals and Jewish, Brazilian, and Australian editions that address different cultural and religious elements. Their guides allow you to choose the age ranges, relationships, and conversation topics to best guide the evening in a comfortable way for everyone involved. All of this information can be found for free at Death Over Dinner.
I truly cannot recommend this book (and this program) enough. It’s so well paced and genuinely comfortable to read, no matter how interested in/scared of death you are. It meets readers where they are and acknowledges just how personal and diverse experiencing death is. If you’re looking for a short and meaningful read that is genuinely helpful (and not just “self-help”), I would recommend starting here.